it is all true, in one way or another.

My mom told me allot of things just now. I guess its good I didn't go to the show. Its weird that I couldn't have. Nothing could have allowed me to be there. But I just didn't want to go. Fleet Foxes has some catchy hooks but is for girls. My mom's mom died. And that's lonely for her. I'm glad I was able to talk to her tonight. She was able to speak. She wasn't too sad to talk. She was doing better. She was putting a positive face on it. When she spoke, she sounded out there, but so am I. She spoke very frankly about how Grandma lives on, is still alive but in the limitless spirit world. My mom only alludes to it without explaining it. She told me that my grandmother and our other dead relatives, recent and distant, were being reunited now, and celebrating their time together. My mom said that Grandpa and Grandma were now together. She spoke as if they had been among them in spirit the whole time. She said things about this life not being real the real world. She said the next life is the real one. She said The Lord gave us this time to do with what we want. We could be good or evil. I don't know what that means exactly, but I agree with her in essence. I don't believe in the Lord as a person. I believe in the Lord maybe, as the force of all that exists...of creation. I thought of a worm, turning into a butterfly. I thought of Fractals...identical patterns, micro and macro, reflected in all parts parts of creation. I thought of Obi Wan Kenobi, "if you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." Maybe this is all true. Maybe the evidence we've all subconsciously gathered together actually means something.

My mom told me that it was in January that she first had to take her mom to the emergency room. She said that the two Siamese cats were crying the whole time they were away, and when Grandma came home from the hospital, both of the cats laid with her. They only got up to stretch and feed and use the box. They stayed by her side the whole time. Six months passed. Grandma was so sick of being in bed, partially paralyzed, unable to even feed herself. She only suffered in the last day. She was loaded on morphine, but was having a terrible time breathing. She ate a large breakfast the last day. She had been wasted so long, but on that last day she ate two poached eggs, cinnamon toast, fruit, juice, and coffee! She then asked for her pills, and that was the end of her. She went into a coma. When she died, the cats left the room and were done with it.

My mom said that when she opened the cat carrier, one cat jumped right in (the second cat had to be gathered up), but both of them didn't cry the whole way to my mom's. My mom said that the spirit of grandma was comforting them, saying, "its, okay, you're going to your new home."

I'm here to say, it is all true, in one way or another.